Perhaps you’ve noticed a tumbleweed or two roll through the vast wasteland of this week’s New York showlistings. Maybe all of your friends are out of town until next Sunday. Probably you’re there right now, taking a selfie at Whataburger.

If you’re not at South By, this is likely a trying time for you. You’ve spent weeks listening to people planning their itineraries in bodega lines and coffee shops. You’ve had friends excitedly tell you their work was sending them there. You’ve had those same friends detail their future Whataburger orders in explicit detail.

Other people here will tell you that South By is a whole bunch of corporate bullshit and this is of course 100% the truth. After all, we’re talking about a festival where homeless people were once sent to wander around as Wi-Fi “hotspots.” This year boasts not only the particularly loathsome hashtag #SXSubway, but an appearance…

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